My Ex Won't Let Me

If your ex-partner is stopping you from seeing your children, it is one of the most frightening and painful situations a parent can face. You may feel powerless. You may not know what your rights are or what you can do. This page sets out your options clearly.

What are your rights?

In England and Wales, both parents generally have parental responsibility for their children (fathers automatically if named on the birth certificate). Parental responsibility gives you the legal standing to be involved in decisions about your children's upbringing, education and health, and to apply to the court for contact to be determined.

Courts generally start from the position that children benefit from having both parents actively involved in their lives.

If there is no court order in place

Your first step is to try to resolve the matter directly, or through mediation. Before applying to court for a Child Arrangements Order, you are usually required to attend a MIAM (Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting). If mediation fails or is not appropriate, you can apply to the court using form C100.

If a court order is already in place and being ignored

If you already have a Child Arrangements Order and your ex is not complying with it, this is a serious matter. You can apply to enforce the order using form C79. Courts have a range of powers to deal with non-compliance, including fines, unpaid work requirements and in serious cases, changes to the living arrangements.

What to do right now

• Start keeping a written record of every missed or refused contact, with dates, times and messages
• Communicate with your ex in writing so there is a record
• Do not retaliate by withholding maintenance or making threats
• Book a MIAM with an accredited mediator
• If there is urgency or a safety concern, get legal advice immediately

How I can help

The Separation Companion can help you understand your options, complete the C100 application, prepare for your first hearing and attend court as your McKenzie Friend. Support is practical, experienced and significantly more affordable than full legal representation.