How to Prepare for Your

Preparation is one of the most important things you can do before a mediation session. Arriving clear on your priorities, with relevant information to hand and a genuine commitment to the process, significantly increases the chances of reaching agreement.

Know what you want

Before the session, think carefully about your priorities. What outcomes are most important to you? Where might you be flexible? Having a sense of your ideal outcome, your acceptable outcome and your bottom line helps you negotiate more effectively.

Think about the children's needs

If the mediation involves child arrangements, focus on your children's needs rather than your own preferences or feelings about your ex. Mediators, and subsequently courts, are focused on the welfare of the children.

Gather relevant information

For financial mediation, bring relevant financial information, rough values of assets, income figures, pension values. You don't need everything at the first session, but the more information available, the more productive the discussion.

Manage your emotions

Mediation is not the place to relitigate the relationship. Try to approach it as a practical problem-solving exercise. This is not always easy, having a support person to debrief with after sessions can help.

What to bring to mediation

For child arrangements mediation, bring a clear summary of the current situation, the existing contact arrangements, any concerns about the children's welfare, and your proposals for the future. For financial mediation, bring a summary of your financial position including assets, income, debts, and outgoings.

Preparing emotionally

• Think through your proposals before the session so you are not making decisions under pressure
• Know your bottom line and what you absolutely need from any agreement
• Be prepared to hear things that upset you without responding immediately
• Focus on the long-term outcome rather than winning the argument in the room