Resource · Mediation

How to Prepare for Your

First Mediation Session

Going into mediation well-prepared makes a real difference to the outcome.

Preparation is one of the most important things you can do before a mediation session. Arriving clear on your priorities, with relevant information to hand and a genuine commitment to the process, significantly increases the chances of reaching agreement.

Know what you want

Before the session, think carefully about your priorities. What outcomes are most important to you? Where might you be flexible? Having a sense of your ideal outcome, your acceptable outcome and your bottom line helps you negotiate more effectively.

Think about the children's needs

If the mediation involves child arrangements, focus on your children's needs rather than your own preferences or feelings about your ex. Mediators, and subsequently courts, are focused on the welfare of the children.

Gather relevant information

For financial mediation, bring relevant financial information, rough values of assets, income figures, pension values. You don't need everything at the first session, but the more information available, the more productive the discussion.

Manage your emotions

Mediation is not the place to relitigate the relationship. Try to approach it as a practical problem-solving exercise. This is not always easy, having a support person to debrief with after sessions can help.

Frequently asked questions

Can I bring someone with me to mediation?
Generally, mediation takes place with just the two parties and the mediator. In some cases, a support person can be present, discuss this with the mediator in advance.
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