What to Do If Your Ex Won't

One of the most frustrating situations in separation is when your ex-partner refuses to engage with the process, ignoring correspondence, failing to complete documents, missing deadlines or simply stonewalling. It is more common than you might think, and there are steps you can take.

The divorce itself

Since the introduction of no-fault divorce in England and Wales in 2022, it is now possible to apply for a divorce without the other party's participation. A sole applicant can proceed to conditional order and final order even if the other party does not respond, provided the correct process has been followed.

Financial proceedings

If your ex refuses to engage with financial disclosure, the court has powers to compel participation. Failure to comply with court orders can result in serious consequences including fines and, in extreme cases, imprisonment.

Child arrangements

If your ex refuses to engage with arrangements for the children, mediation may help. If not, you can apply to the court for a Child Arrangements Order. The court will make decisions based on the children's best interests, and non-engagement by one party does not prevent the process moving forward.

Why people refuse to engage with divorce proceedings

People refuse to engage for various reasons including denial, anger, hope of reconciliation, or as a deliberate tactical decision. Understanding the reason can help you choose the most effective response, though ultimately you cannot force someone to want a divorce. What you can do is ensure their lack of engagement does not prevent you from getting the legal clarity and financial settlement you need.

Proceeding without your ex's cooperation

Following the introduction of no-fault divorce in 2022, it is significantly easier to proceed without a spouse's cooperation. A divorce can proceed on the sole application of one party and cannot be contested on the grounds that the applicant does not want it. In financial proceedings, if your ex fails to provide financial disclosure, the court can make orders based on available information and draw adverse inferences from non-disclosure.